Don't Knock on Deaths Door, Instead Ring the Doorbell and Run

I wasn’t going to write about my weekend adventure, mostly because I haven’t felt like writing, or doing anything else for that matter. So hopefully this will help to bring me out of deteriorating mood that I’ve been in the past couple of days.

People having been telling me if I get out and do things that will make my moods better, so when a friend called and wanted to know if I wanted to go riding around with them, I thought why not I wasn’t doing anything else, except for sitting on my fat ass staring blankly at the dingy white walls around me.

My boys stayed with their dad, so I didn’t have to worry about them, even though they are old enough to be left alone for a few hours. My friends picked me up around 8 and we drove into Tulsa, after stopping off and picking up a 5th of Tequila from the local liquor store. We then stopped at my friends house, where we smoked a blunt and started in on the Tequila. I hadn’t smoked since I got arrested back on the 2 of April, so I quickly became high, which felt really great. Best mood I’ve been in for days.

There are some weeds when you smoke them they make you feel laid back and relaxed, where other weeds have the opposite effect, anyway on me they do. Well, this was one of the those other kinds of marijuana where when you smoke it, you want to get up and do a thousand things. You can’t sit still, you feel restless and most of the time I want to get up and clean something after smoking. Problem was I was at someone else’s house, so I had to sit there shifting back and forth in my seat while my friend made call after call. I was starting to regret coming, and thought about what I would be doing if I were at home....alone. Not a good thought, I was better off getting drunk and high. I took another huge drink.

Finally my friend hung up with a big smile on his face, and told us it was time to head out. While driving we passed around the bottle and enjoyed listing to the songs being played on the radio, until we made it to a house on the west side of town. My friend ran in and came back out just a few minutes later with a giant duffle bag. He quickly opened up the trunk of the car and sat the bag inside, then jumped back into the drivers seat. Immediately the strong odor of marijuana filled the car. Panic mode set in. Am I going to regret anything in the morning? Will I be waking up in jail cell? Little thoughts like these are scrambling around in my brain, making it hurt. I’m still in a little hot water for the other charge, so I damn straight didn’t want another one, or have to call another friend to come bail me out of jail. I sit back deep into the seat, take a few deep breathes and another sip from the bottle.

We safely made it back to his place, where he took the bag out and we all went back inside, sat down to smoke some more. It was then that I saw what all was in the duffle bag, over 5 pounds of bricked up marijuana. My mind begins racing, wondering what the fuck I was doing there at their house. I don’t want to be caught up in any crap, so I begin questioning, in my head, the friendship I have with them. I don’t have a lot of friends, but most of the friends that I do have are all drug addicts. I don’t have a single friend who is straight. So, if I decide not to hang around them, then I’m left alone with my crazy thoughts. Neither one is a good option, but in the end my mind thought, I would rather hang with someone than be totally alone. I just went along with things. Whatever happened would just have to happen.

After several rounds of drinks and joints being passed around, my friend broke down most of the weed into different bags and then placed it all back into the duffle bag. We then got back into the car and drove around to different places delivering the product to people he knew. While they went in the houses I just sat alone in the back seat cradling the bottle of Tequila.

Somewhere around midnight, we stopped at a place in Tulsa called Sharky’s. My friend told me he had to drop off one last package to someone inside, then we would head back to his place. At this point, I was so drunk I could barely stand, but I had to pee so bad I got out the car to go inside to the bathroom. From outside I looked in and saw my neighbor, and being drunk I thought I would sneak up on her and scare the crap out of her. Just for a little fun.

So, I’m tiptoeing drunkenly my way towards her, when I look up and notice who she is talking to. I damn near peed on myself! My heart felt like it was going to explode when I saw two local police officers standing there talking to her. They know who I am, and one of them I have been told is now working with the DEA. Shit! My mind screams. I backed off real fast. Even though they weren’t in their uniforms, and look a lot smaller out of their uniforms, they still scared the crap out of me. I quickly made it back to the car, praying they hadn’t they seen me.

I get into the backseat of the car, when suddenly in my mouth there is a party going on and everyone is throwing up. I promptly open the back door, and upchuck everything I had for dinner. When my friends all returned and see the puke beside the car, I requested that I be taken home for the night. I had enough excitement. And people wonder why I don’t want to leave my house some days.

The hardest thing I've had to learn in life, is which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn.