Thursday, April 17, 2008

Before the storm

Before the storm starts, and I’m not talking about the black clouds and dark sky outside, I’m talking about my moods, I’m going to try and write something. Mostly because I can’t get my mind to shut the hell up and the best way that I have found to accomplish this is to post something online.

I’m going through a manic phase at the very moment, but I don’t how long it will last. For the past several days I have been rapid recycling, which means my moods are going from extreme highs to extreme lows in a short amount of time. It’s not the regular I’m sad because... My dog ran away, or even someone’s far worse, and has no reason to why it happens. Then there is the other side where I’m happy, full of energy, but the weird part is I will burst out laughing or smile to myself after just recalling a memory. At least the laughing is a pleasant thing to go through.

Now instead of hating everything, I have started liking things too much. I have a thousand ideas running through my head, but no time to write them down, because I also need to paint the cabinets again, sweep down all the cobwebs from the ceilings in the house, pull the weeds from my flower bed, re-arrange things in my kitchen, etc. Etc....What I really fucking hate is that this will sometimes only last a day or two for me then it’s right back into the shit hole of depression, then nothing will get done and I want to tell the entire world to go to hell again.

Stress Release thought for the day....

Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.

Last walk before the rain

If only I had known
I would have walked a different path.
I’m staring at things I can’t touch.
I just can’t stay out of trouble.

This life just hasn’t turned out to be what I thought it would be.
I haven’t seen the sunshine in three damn days.
I’m wearing the same clothes I wore yesterday.
It’ll never be the way it use to be.

I get tried of listen to the sound of my tears.
I’m always in the dark.
Every step I take is painful.
I’m like a little child who misses her teddy bear.

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