Ten of the weirdest ways people deal with stress

~I know I've used several of these when trying to deal with my stress~

Stress is a normal human reaction to life's pressures and challenges. We spend most of our lives trying to figure out the best ways to avoid stress and keep it under control with exercise, sleep, a balanced diet and deep breathing exercises. But when those traditional stress relievers no longer work, people will find alternative and often unhealthy methods to cope with their stress. Here are the 10 weirdest ways that people manage stress:

   1. Gambling: Gambling may seem like a weird way to handle stress, but many people find comfort in playing against the odds. Those who have an insatiable urge to gamble, despite potentially negative consequences, are often classified as gambling addicts. Gambling provides an adrenaline rush and sense of euphoria when you win, therefore, someone who is depressed or burdened by a lot of stress might find solace in gambling.

   2. Self-Injury/Cutting: Some people relieve stress by deliberately hurting themselves. This self-induced pain is often done by cutting or burning the skin and engaging in dangerous activities. People who injure themselves aren't trying to commit suicide, but it could be fatal if the injuries are serious enough. Self-injury is often accompanied by several mental illnesses, such as depression, bipolar disorder and eating disorders. No matter the circumstance, deliberately harming oneself is an unhealthy way to cope with stress, emotional pain and anger.

   3. Hoarding: Hoarding is a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), in which individuals collect an excessive amount of items that are generally useless or of little value. Hoarding can also involve collecting animals. For many individuals, hoarding things is a way to relieve stress and overcome other issues. Hoarders feel safe and secure when they have their belongings nearby, yet it becomes an additional source of stress when it starts to interfere with their safety, health and social life.

   4. Hair Pulling: Hair pulling, also known as trichotillomania, is a disorder that causes people to excessively pull out their hair. This irresistible urge to pluck out hair from the scalp, eyebrows, eyelashes and other parts of the body can be a form of stress relief for certain individuals. Although the cause of trichotillomania is not clear, it's often associated with genetic and environmental factors or chemical imbalances. This disorder is not a normal way of managing stress and should not be taken lightly.

   5. Vomiting: Some people feel a sense of relief to vomit when they're stressed. Whether the stress has been brought on by nerves, an eating disorder or another form of pressure, forcing yourself to vomit is not a healthy way of coping with stress. Those who engage in self-induced vomiting may feel temporary relief, but this disordered behavior may lead to more sever eating disorders, malnutrition, extreme weight loss and other serious health problems.

   6. Tattoos: Getting tattoos is another odd way that people manage stress. Whether it's the touch of the needle, immense pain or increase of endorphins to the brain, the experience of getting tattoos can be very soothing to stressed individuals. Tattooing may also be a less obvious form of self-mutilation, which can be a cause for concern.

   7. Overworking: It's not uncommon for stressed individuals to try to manage their stress by increasing their workload and working overtime. Many people think they can manage their stress and that things will get easier if they just work longer and harder than normal. However, overworked people may end up making more mistakes and increasing their stress levels because they haven't allowed themselves to relax and get an adequate amount of rest needed to be efficient throughout the day.

   8. Not Dealing With It at All: Many people manage their stress by not dealing with it at all. These people turn a blind eye when they are faced with something stressful and put their problems on the back burner, hoping their issues will disappear or resolve themselves. Others may shut down completely and go into a catatonic state. Ignoring stress will only make it worse, and could lead to further problems.

   9. Spending: Compulsive shopping and spending is another weird way people manage their stress. Treating yourself to a nice bracelet or new pair of shoes may seem innocent enough, but this compulsive desire to regularly spend money that you probably don't have can become a very serious problem. Compulsive shoppers face several negative consequences, such as extreme debt, strained relationships, ruined credit history, anxiety and additional stress.

  10. Physically Fighting: Today, more and more people cope with their stress by physically fighting. Exercising is simply not enough for these adrenaline junkies, who need to let out their aggression on someone else or feel the pain of being hit. These people may be hotheads who are always picking fights, or an unsuspecting coworker who's a member of an underground fight club. No matter their preference, fighting is not a normal or healthy way of managing your stress. Not only are you inflicting injury on someone else, but you too could get severely hurt.

When We Forget the Past, We Are Dommed to Repeat It

Gritting my teeth.... If I didn’t I would probably bite someone’s head off.

I’ve been in this ‘pissed off at the world’ kind of mood for several days now, and I feel an overwhelming need to get away from everybody and everything. Even if it’s just a few yards, I need some sort of distance. I’ve been extremely edgy, yelling about the things that are not in their place, about how unclean everything is around me, just yelling about everyday stressful things that take place.

When I get like this, I have to write. I do most of my writing at home on my computer, or in my bedroom in one of the various notebooks where I keep most of my more serious thoughts. But every now and then, I escape to one of the local parks. Mostly because I enjoy the feeling of being around the trees, smelling the fresh air, and being able to feel alone with my thoughts for a little while.

There is one park that I mostly tend to lurk around, which is fine during the daytime, but at night this causes a problem with local law enforcement. So, again I started studying/stalking them a little recently to discover a pattern in their activities. This then allows me to spend my time relaxing in my own way at the park during the times I feel the need. It has worked several times without a problem, but every now and then I lose myself into some deep thoughts when writing and get caught. Luckily Officer R was in a good mood this time and let me off with a polite warning. Thanks.

Being bi-polar is very rough. It can lead you down roads you normally would be to frightened to travel, and you find yourself doing things that later leave you wondering what the fuck you were thinking. Such as thinking about cutting myself deep enough to need stitches. But I don’t want anyone to find out, so instead I’ve been inflicting small injuries where others can’t see, or won’t really question what happened. It was just something to shock my mind out of feeling unpredictable, and to slow the racing thoughts. Sometimes that is not enough. Here is where the police come into the picture.

Where I sit at the park, I can see where they are in the distance. I‘ve even done this at other parks in different towns. When I get to the level where I want to do extreme cutting, I go park where they are within a short distance. ( Q-Trip is sometimes a good place to park:) ) Then instead of cutting, I write. From past experiences I know if law enforcement were to view my ‘accident’ they might try to lock me up somewhere. Locking me up actually makes things worse, because the moment I’m left alone, I will cut myself deep. It’s like a part of me says it’s okay now to cut, because if you cut too deep someone will be there to help you. Later is when it messes with my mind.

I’m still finishing up the rest of my thoughts that I wrote the other night, so I’ll post it a little later.

Hide the Keys to the Gun Case

I’m just a girl who doesn’t know who she is
Because the mind I once had, suddenly became his.

For all I really know, I might not even exist.
That’s one of the reason I sometimes cut my wrist.

If I wake up tomorrow and I don’t know who I am,
Will anyone tell me if they give a damn?

Maybe some friendly person will take pity on my soul,
And tell me all the things that will make my mind whole.

*********************
The truth is they will just let me parade around like a delusional person trying to find something I lost a long time ago.
*********************

Light Up a Smoke and Stick Around for Awhile

Today my thoughts are running around in all the wrong directions. I tossed and turned for almost 6 hours of sleep before I couldn’t stand laying in bed for another minute because of the pain in my knees. I started going to psychical therapy last week to learn new exercises to help strengthen the muscles around my knees, so I can prepare for surgery in a few more months down the line. I’m told I have to have total knee replacements if I ever want to walk without pain again. Not sure if I want to go through all that. Still, the therapy seems to be helping with some of the relentless pain.

To help take my mind away from the unbending pain, I began pondering things like, ‘What would happen if I ....” Soon the thoughts turned intrusive and bore deep into my recesses of my mind, and hung around like open sore that you keep picking at. Here is a few things my mind explored today.


I wonder what would happen if I ...

If I... Walked down a road with heavy traffic rushing by at 65mph, and I ‘stumbled’ in front of the passing cars, would the firemen come to wash away all the blood?

If I ... Found the tallest building in Tulsa and went to the roof to jump off, would anyone care enough to stop me?

If I... Picked up my hammer and smashed my computer into a thousand pieces, then threw it out into the street, would other people understand?

If I ... I saw someone wearing a bullet proof vest, could I aim for their head or crotch and still be able to kill them?

If I ...walked into the store and got an overwhelming urge to smash all the eggs on the floor, would I have to clean it up?

If I ... Swam down into the deepest water, could I make it back to the top in time?

If I... Took a baseball bat to the police station and just went crazy breaking all the windows in their new patrol cars, would I kick them in the nuts when they try to arrest me?

If I ... Burned something, could it be put back together?

If I... Interrupted Obama during one of his speeches, would I be tasered?

If I ... Stab myself, will I survive?

If I ... Stuck my hand in the garbage disposal, would it hurt?

If I ... Used an assault rifle, how many could I kill before someone stopped me?

If I ... Closed my eyes while driving, and pushed the gas pedal down a little harder, would I wreck?

If I ... Jump off a tall building, would that end the fear of me falling?

If I... Carry out one of these urges, will I find myself levitating with a extreme mood lift and accompanying euphoria?

Quote:
Others may think you are crazy,
but it is the genius inside you that is giving you those thoughts.
Let your crazy thoughts come and success will follow.

Other things I keep thinking about...

I keep thinking, “If I didn’t love them... I would put them out of their misery.”

As I stood behind a man at Wal-Mart, I thought about picking up one of the steak knives in my shopping cart and plunging it into the middle of his back because I felt he was looking at a little girl in the wrong way.

I saw a highway patrolman and couldn’t stop myself from following him into Q-trip, just so I could think about how it would be to take his life with my bare hands.


Acknowledging the darker, evil part of my human psyche... It exist within us all.

Being aware of the evil within allows me to control it, rather than merely ignoring it and letting it fester through my being to the point where it can overwhelm me when I loose control.

Once you get right deep down into the core of a persons being, we're all evil, malignant assholes who probably deserve to die.

Just how else could humanity come to sit at the top of the global food chain? Only by being the smartest, toughest, most bloodthirsty motherfuckers on this rock.

Can I control these intrusive thoughts?
Can I trust my own mind not to do something stupid?
One thing is that I am usually too damn busy or lazy to act on them, but of course if I get a day when I’m not tired, or busy... Then the world better watch out.

I’ll be alright, as long as the breaks don’t fail.

*************************
My court is tomorrow. I was hoping I could come up with enough money to pay the damn ticket before having to appear, but it looks like I'll have to make payment arraignments. Damn I hate fucking court! Too much stress. I don't do good with stress. Guess, I'll just have to come prepared.

Tonight, My Nightmares Feel Real

I’ve had two dreams about going to court in Sand Springs. In the dream, I’m at the courthouse and just as I walk inside I hear the voice of the officer I talked to a few years ago from a pay phone, but I never see his face, I only hear his voice and the voice of other officers suddenly talking. I feel extreme panic and feel the need to escape so I turn to walk outside. When I step outside I meet face to face with badge bunnies husband and he just stares into my face. At that point, I realize I’m dreaming and force myself to wake up. I think I see his face because he is the only one that I have actually met, and I recently saw him while I was in Sand Springs.

The dream and appearing in court are both equally stressing me. I keep thinking about what the officer posted online at Coplouge a few years ago after I talked with him that day...

Quote: If you could spend a day with a board member who would it be?

I'd like a day with Thief...oh yes just one day...we'd work out some things.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~>:view19: Me taking care of Thief. Here thiefy, thiefy, thiefy!!

Guess I really pissed him off. This happened several years ago, so maybe he isn’t even around any more, and if he is, hopefully he has let it go. (yes, I fucking access your board Dunny...get over it... I was just looking for that quote from Baker.)

My court date was for tonight, so I’m glad I pushed it off until after my son graduates, just in case ‘Baker’ decides he still wants to ‘work out some things’. Regardless, I’m going to prepare myself... Put my plan in motion... Take a pill or two... And stay as calm as I possibly can. Maybe I’ll walk out without even seeing any of them.

Driving in Circles

I've got to get out tomorrow and escape for at least a little while.

When you label somebody, you stop seeing them as a real person. And suddenly it’s okay to do all kinds of terrible things to them. Soon they stop seeing themselves as a real person and they just turn into that label. So what if I’m crazy, after 20 years of people treating me like I’m crazy, can you blame me?

I think I might have to do some drinking tomorrow night.

Even if the voices aren’t real, they have some good ideas.

I so fucking hate authority figures who are contentious, because in three seconds flat, I will return the favor. Talk to me normal and I’m fine, but jump stupid and I’ll show you stupid.

That’s what I had to deal with today. FUCKING Morons!!

Last week I was stopped by a really nice officer from Glenpool, for not signaling soon enough. OKAY. He was very polite as he waited on the call back to make sure my warrant, that he helped arrest me for, was all taken care of. OKAY. I told him that it was totally cleared up, but I couldn’t help but flash on the fact that the night before I had looked up my case online and saw it said, “T.C.M.W.P. NOTICE NON-COMPLETION - PART OF SENTENCE - FAILED TO REPORT”.

Of course I knew this information was incorrect, so the next morning, I called my attorney, and spoke with a lady who answered his phone. She told me that she would have my attorney call me back. (Which he never did.)

As I’m sitting there looking in the mirror at Officer G, I’m thinking I’m about to go to jail, so I start telling my 18 year old son, who is sitting next to me, what to do with the money in my purse just in case.

A few minutes later Officer G comes back up to my window, and hands me back my license, as he again apologizes. He informs me that my warrant is all clear. To nice. I smile, and he asks one last question. You know....the ‘do you have any weapons, knives, or drugs in the car?’ kind of question. I quickly respond with a no...thinking in my mind there better not be, because it’s my sons car. But he does have a couple friends who smoke marijuana, so I get a little adrenaline rush for just a moment. Then I tell him no again, because ‘I don’t smoke any more.’ Apparently, that’s not what he’s heard.

He apologizes once again, and tells me to have a nice day, without a ticket or a search of the car. (You would have wasted your time, there was nothing in the car...relief for me to.)

Now this is the difference that I’m talking about, Officer G was professional without being a dickhead. Even if it was a fucked up reason to stop me. (I needed a little boost of adrenaline, so I can’t complain.) Smile and I’ll smile back, but be a fucking AssClown and I will unleash my feral impulses. I’ll call you every name I can think of, and try to degrade you in any way possible. (Ask Officer C Smith about that one.)

The next day after the stop, I called someone at the court clerks office and talked to them about what was posted on the site: http://www.oscn.net/applications/oscn/casesearch.asp , which says that I hadn’t completed everything required of the court. I just wanted to make sure that a few months from now this all didn’t come back on me, and I get arrested for what is posted, even if it’s not correct. I’ve been through this court shit before and all it takes is one fucking moron to deliberately not put the correct information into the system, which is what I believe has happened this time.

After talking and almost arguing with a woman at the court clerks office, she finally told me I had to speak with someone in the Work Program and they would have to remove it from the system. Okay. So, I call and leave a message. No one calls back.

Today I decided to try and get this resolved once again. I was trying to speak once again with someone at the court clerks office in Tulsa, about what was posted on the site, and how to get it removed. I was told someone from the work program would have to send up some paper work to let them know that it was all clear, since they were the ones who sent the paper work stating I hadn’t done the work hours. I tried to explain this to some asshole named Curtis, but all he wanted to do was be an AssClown. Saying things like, ‘yeah sure, I’ll get right on that...’ In the most derogatory tone, that I instantly knew he had no plans of doing anything.

I became so frustrated that I hung up on him, calling him the asshole that he is, which led to him calling me back. He said he was going to do it, but after my attitude, he wouldn’t....and at that point I broke in and screamed at him, ‘no you weren’t. I could tell by the way you were talking you aren‘t going to do anything asshole. He continued to talk, I hung up, but not before screaming ASSHOLE... Into the phone. I’ve probably got a warrant now, just because this asshole thinks he better than me, and get’s off on degrading individuals. Fuck off you stupid ass bitch before I jump stupid and show you how much of a psycho I can really be.

All I've got to say is if I get arrested for this fuck-up, I will sue the shit out of this stupid bastard.

New Plans

Most of the time I tend to only write when I’m feeling stressed, or sad, so when things are going good, I just don’t really feel the need to say anything. I guess that’s how it’s been the past week or so. Things are finally going good...anyway at least for the moment. Plus I’ve been really busy putting my plan in motion...hehe.

I was finally able to get all my legal problems taken care of so I can be ‘legal’ again. No more sneaking around, wondering if at any given moment I would be arrested. It was hard to breathe then...it’s much easier now. I’m able to take in deeps breaths one at a time, and enjoy it while I’m relaxing. I’m no longer carrying a weapon with me at all times, like I have for the past three years. It actually feels good going out and not thinking about it always being there to comfort me.

Cutting has become an addiction for me since the first time I laid open my skin when I was only 12 years old. At 40 years old, I still get the same rush that I got from cutting my very first time. But now that I’ve put my plan in gear, there will no more cutting, no more marijuana, and hopefully no more arrest. I’m too fucking old to keep getting locked up over dumb shit.

I now feel like I’m a part of my boys life again, and I don‘t want to mess that up. I’m spending more time with them and enjoying what little bit of time that I may have left. This next week I’m taking them to Lake Keystone for a day at the lake to let them just be boys for their last few remaining years before they become fully grown men and leave home. It feels good being able to do things for them again.

I finally had a CT scan done last week, not surprisingly, everything thing looked okay. But I already had the feeling it was going to come out okay, because I felt I had figured out what the problem was. I wasn’t having symptoms until an hour to two after taking some meds in the evening. My hearing loss was almost at complete loss on my right side. For some reason, I suspected it was the Zyrtec that I was taking, and I was right. It took me about a week to get it all out of my system, but my hearing returned to normal, my depression felt better, I didn’t feel dizzy, and I didn’t feel as hungry as I did after taking the Zyrtec. I still have to have a few more test done, but I think they are going to turn out just fine.

Right now, I feel good. I’m down 16 pounds. That’s not much, but it’s a good start. I guess three years of inactivity will do that to a person. I just have to really watch myself now, because I keep spending a lot of time outside in the pool, causing myself to get sun burnt several times now. My white ass burns too damn easy.

The other thing is...I won’t be spending as much time online posting crazy ass stories and such...law enforcement should be happy. I’ll be outside enjoying what little time I may have left on this earth.

It's time for the other person inside of me to step to the front of the class.

Hope everyone has a great week!!!

Walking in Mud

I’ve been thinking about what someone said to me, about wanting to know why I didn’t make my blog private. Especially since I have someone harassing me. When I first started this blog a couple of years ago, I did have it set to private, but then I went back and began reading some of my own post, and what I read even frightened me a little. I could see that some of my post were not ‘normal’, and I questioned my own sanity more than once.

One of my many voices convinced me to let the world see my thoughts, in hopes of it keeping me from reacting on one of my many bizarre thoughts. Big people know now why I’m so sad, and knowing that has helped me to avoid acting out.

The first few days after my arrest, I felt alert, more aware of what was going on around me. That feeling is already starting to fade. Stress is taking over and I feel like I’m wading through waist deep mud, with concrete buckets attached to my feet. Amazingly I don’t feel like cutting myself, which is where my thoughts usually take me when I want to feel normal again.

I don’t know if meds are the answer to making me feel more human, and a part of me is terrified to try any type of new drug, so I feel lost. I thought about trying to get an appointment to see a psychiatrist, but for now, I don’t have a way to get there. My insurance is not going to pay to see a therapist, so I keep making these excuses, letting one of my many voices tell me that there is nothing wrong with me, it’s the rest of the world.

Until I’m probably forced into getting some sort of help, I’ll be on here, writing about the way I feel and how my past continues to fuck with my mind.