Friday, January 18, 2008

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Where is God when I fall?

Mirror Mirror on the wall
Where is God when I fall?

The Child Within,
Where has she been?
Living with memories of darkness and sin.
Cannot embrace that child within.
The shame it has no end.
Don’t show your face,
Stay inside and pray.
The corner is yours dark and gray.
Silence your heart
Don’t you cry!

What good would it do?
Don’t even try.
Can’t let her out.
People will see,
The scared little girl inside of me.
She wants to be loved.
She needs to feel safe.
Embrace her today along with her sorrow,
She wants to come out And play tomorrow.


I seek release.
Release from this bitter cold
that courses through my body,
and conquers the will of my heart .
Maybe if I take this razor to my wrists
I can cut the pain away.
I can watch the blood drip onto the floor
just so I can see myself slip away.
I can't hold the tears back
but I can cut the pain away.
Nothing is more refreshing
than one's life upon the floor.
Hold me in this bed a little longer
I can feel your fingers dig into me still.
Maybe if I take this razor to my wrists
I can cut myself away.

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I take a look at my life and realize there's nothing left.
Memory, memory please go away,
The little girl in me wants to play.
From here to there
And there to where?
No one really seems to care.

Circling, whirling up and down
There is the sky
But where's the ground?
Never a child
I was destined to be
only a body filled with fear you see.
Always wondering what would come next
Always watching for him to come and get me.
The gray pavement flies beneath me
I close my eyes for a second and
I see you, your face
Burned into my memory
Like a bad dream
That I can’t wake up from.
I close my mouth but there is still a taste that I can’t stand.

                                       I smile through a thousand tears
so that no one knows my aches and fears.
Consumed by great shyness
that swallows me whole
No one sees the fire burning in my soul.
I always look behind me
for I feel someone is there.
I feel his eyes all over me
but I can’t see him anywhere.
I never speak up.
I say nothing at all.
Afraid someone will notice
if I should happen to fall.
Trying to hide disappear from the crowd
feeling left out like I’m not allowed.

I can smell his anger
locked so deep inside his soul
He had to feel the power
and so, my life, he stole.
I lock everything up
where it never comes out
so no one can feel my worry and doubt.
I’m longing for the day
when I'll finally be free
so that people can see
Normal is all I want to be.

I bleed alone.

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