Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Being Bi-Polar

Being Bi-Polar is like being two completely different people. The highs and lows can sometimes be quite a rollercoaster ride, so to help myself out I made this list.

Bipolar supplies that we need. You know...the must haves that we keep around ICORMS (in chase of radical mood swings).

I think that we should do a service here and make a list of necessary items and keep them in Two for mania and one for that shithole of depression.

For example...
Supplies to be put in The Manic Box

1. Patent office number....for those really fantastic, foil-proof, “gonna-make-us-rich and the world a better place” inventions and innovations. Don’t you hate it when in a moment of absolute manic genius, you are struck by a brilliant idea for something, only to lose it when you “come down”? Keeping the government patent office’s phone number on speed dial could mean the difference in being the next great Edison or losing the idea when the roller coaster hits stop.

2. Loud music. MP3, CD player, or your own rock goddess voice. This is a definite must have. Buy an extra and store it in The Box.

3. Memo recorder...the most thought provoking, earth shattering ideas come to us while manic. We need to record them.

4. Map...when else do we get the wild hair up our butt to travel to unknown places. And, we surely have to know how to get there. Plus, we may need to find a place to hide from those dreary, boring people who are harping at us to call our psych doc or therapist.

5. Phone numbers of all your friends that you have ever had since grade school. Face it...we like to chat quite a bit when manic and can run through several dozen conversations with various people in a short time. We don’t want to run out of listeners. So, while you are thinking about it, now, get out your phone books, address books , year books, etc. and write those numbers down.

6.Art supplies, camera, cookbooks, etc. NOBODY is more creative than a person in the throws of manic highs. We can paint, write, take photos, cook gourmet’ meals and do EVERYTHING else better than ANYBODY else.

7. Large sunglasses...our eyes tend to turn very red after not sleeping for days on end. Don’t want to get pulled over by a cop only to have him see your very bloodshot eyes. Artificial tear drops would be handy, too.

8. A note telling us not to do stupid things, like fuck with the police, go out drinking alone, trying to drive a 100 miles an hour down the highway, or spending more money than we really should.

That’s a few ideas for The Manic Box. Add some of your own if you like.

Ideas for The Shithole Depression Box

1. Loud music...the blues or any song that makes reference to depression. Sad country songs really do the trick.

2.A television...just to stare blankly at.

3.Blanket….for laying under while staring blankly at the television.

4. Kleenex...for obvious reasons. of all the people who have hurt us or done us wrong at some point in our life. Try to get large photos. You might want to sit them in a chair and refresh their memories of what horrible people they are. Also can be used as rage outlet by smashing, spitting on, pissing on, etc. Go ahead!!!!!! Don’t be afraid to show your mean granny your other cheeks and let her kiss them.

6.Ambien, Ativan, Valium or any other med that you will put you into a sleep or immobile stage. Why give a tinker’s damn about what’s going on in the world? It’s gonna explode any day now anyway. I want to be asleep when that happens. Plus, I want to sleep thru all the damn people pestering me to “buck up”, “go to church”, “get out”, “look at the bright side”...exactly the crap that I don’t want to hear.

7. Ear plugs...for the same reasons as #6.

8. Memo recorder...record all the stuff that you want to say to the people who have made your life a living hell. Let it out and use words like “fuck you”, “you’re a bug-fucking asshat, “you make Amy Winehouse look like Kelly Ripka”, etc. RECORD IT ALL! If you don’t feel enough energy now, you can use those phrases when you are manic again.

9. Deodorant...for the days that we can’t get out of bed to bathe.

Our boxes are not complete. I’m sure that there is more to add. Help me!
Hey, just a thought? Is this beginning to sound like a brilliant idea? Where’s that patent number?

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