Friday, March 07, 2008

Feeling Manic

One hundred things are running through my head...I’m thinking faster than my fingers can type. In the past when I got this way I had to take Adderall to help slow me down, but I threw all my pills away, so this time I’m going to let it do it’s own thing. Fuck all the side effects...that shit made me sleepy all the time anyway. I don’t need no stinking sleep...there’s too much shit I want to get done. But more than anything I want to get out of the hell out of the damn house. Let’s go for a long drive, and find a place where I can see how fast my car will go. If I wasn’t so fucking old and fat I would go sky diving...damn that sounds like a lot of fun. How about a little game of tag with law enforcement...maybe I’ll just fuck with some online...I can’t go to jail when I’m in this state...somebody, probably me, is going to get their ass whipped if I fuck with them right now. Still, it could be a lot of fun.

I shook the worm and their hook. Get butt naked please.

Tonight I’m going to do a little drinking, will maybe a lot...I want to finish a couple of bottles I have had for several weeks now. I haven’t had but a couple of hours of sleep, so maybe that will help me sleep. But if I sleep I won’t be able to enjoy finally fucking feeling good. Sometimes it will only last for a few days before I crash again. I’m going to do all I can before I crash and things get left undone.

Spinning dizzy out of control, bouncing, jumping wanting to let go.

Nothing to gain, nothing to lose.
Only a Trojan horse.
Boom. Boom. Boom. Trunk is rattling.
Take a deep breath and inhale.
Let’s put our ass into it.

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