The first cut was the deepest

Everybody is always telling me to get over my past and move on with my life. What they don’t understand unless they’ve been there is you can’t get over your past. It’s always there; a bad smell reminds me of his breath or body odor as he laid on top of me. The words ‘I love you’ spoken into my ear as he made me promise not to tell, now the words make me cringe and want to look away. I can’t repeat them back to the ones I now love, because they remind me a time long ago. Wrapping his arms around me and hugging me tight, now days it makes me want to vomit. On the street I see a man who reminds me him and I want to run and hide, but I know he’s been dead and gone for 7 years now. I still see him in my mind, I still hear him, I still smell him, I still feel him, so How in Hell am I suppose to just forget and move on?
Every step I take is painful.