Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Its hard doing the right thing all the time, but I’m getting there, slowly.

Many times in my life I have wanted to end my suffering, but recently instead of doing that I decided to do as others have suggested and try to make a change. To do that I had to find people and places on the internet where I could at least pretend to be normal for a short time during my day. It kept me from thinking about how earlier in the day I had saw a strange man on the street that reminded of my father. A smell, someone else’s words, always seem's to remind me of him. People I met on the internet, I didn’t have to look in the eyes, they didn’t have to know anything about who I really was. And so for that time, I felt normal. I felt like everyone else.

Slowly I began to change even more things about myself. I thought I was becoming a better person when I finally stopped being a thief. I became Perdure. (If you don’t know what perdure means…look it up in the dictionary.) I was following those who are able to resist their urges, and live a stable life. It was all that I really wanted, and for a short time, I had what they had.
Sorry everyone from Coplounge

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