Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Worst Christmas Ever?

For the past thirty minutes I’ve been reading about some of the odd, horrible, what were they thinking kind of gifts that people receive at Christmas time. Though I did read a few really bad stories, like the guy who gave his wife 5 quarts of motor oil and an oil filter so she could change the oil on her car, I think some of my previous gifts have been a little worse. Still, there were several funny ones, like the lady who received the turbo tax program from her husband, so she could file their tax return. There was also the young couple who recently moved into a new house, and received wrapped toilet paper, paper towels, and bottles of cleaning supplies as a gift because the Aunt thought they could use the stuff for their new place. The funniest, and yet sad, was a lady who received a giant bag of used left over bath products.

I’ve been known to give previous owned presents, like the year I gave a friend a rose candle that I had sitting around my house for a couple years and never used. Problems was I had forgotten at the time that she had given me the candle a few years earlier. Ooopps. I will also give gifts that I have picked up at a discount, or second hand resale shop, and even items from garages sales, if they are what I consider nice. It’s not that I’m cheap, but when you have a large family, it starts quickly adding up to a lot of money.

I think I do a better job than some of my family. They are horrible giftters, but I take the gift with a smile and a big thank you regardless. I just still haven’t decided what to do with the 100 plus small packages of condiments, from various drive-thru restaurants, that I received from one member of my family last year. If you’re not working I understand, but don’t decided to horde condiment packages to give as a gift, just go ahead and keep those for yourself.

One of my other gifts last year include a really ugly sleigh with a woman driving. It was filled with peppermint candy, which was a nice thought, if it hadn’t been chewed on by a mouse. On top you could clearly see where a mouse had sat and chewed on several pieces of the candy. When I pointed out that she must have a mouse, she looked at me and seriously said, “It’ll be okay. Just take the candy on top off, the rest is still good.” The whole thing was placed securely into the trash the second I got home.

Previous years weren’t much better, so when we got together at Thanksgiving, I convinced everyone to make up just one basket of items, priced from 10 to 20 dollars. Then when we get together on Christmas eve, we would draw a number, or whatever, and that would be the basket you received. My odds of receiving a nice gift this year feel a little better. At least I won’t be carrying home 20 pounds of previously frozen deer meat that needs to be cooked up quickly so it doesn’t go to waste...the day before Christmas.

The dreadful day draws near... Lol. I’m just waiting to hear about all the latest drama. My sister-in-law called me earlier tonight and briefed me on a few details of the next Jerry Springer Actually I think the craziness that goes on out there, might be a little to far out even for Jerry.

Brief run down. My half-sister J, who is really by blood my cousin, is living with a guy named C. C used to be married to my younger sister S, and had a boy J and a girl C. Now J, my nephew, calls my half-sister J, Auntiemom.

After my younger sister S broke up with C for sleeping with J, she married another guy that was almost 25 years older than her and who had 6 other kids. They all moved in together, but he was a alcoholic with a former war history, which exposed my niece and nephew to some crazy months. She divorced him and married another guy, and divorced him within a year. My niece C, freaked out about the whole thing and started cutting herself to relive the stress. She then quit school at 14 years old, and started smoking. My nephew J also dropped out of school at age 13, and began drinking and smoking.

Four years have now passed and my younger sister S is now living with a guy T who is half her age. He has two children, 7 and 9 years old. And together S and T had 2 boys, one now 2 ½ and the other is 1½ years old. The new guy T doesn’t work, and neither does my sister, so the fighting is ‘normal’. The relationship has to fail soon.

Now in the other corner, we have my sister-in-law A that called today. She recently lost custody of her daughter to another family member who felt A wasn’t taking care of her daughter in the way she thought it should be done. Mostly it was because A doesn’t work, and she is married to my brother F, who doesn’t work either, so they are living in my brothers old burnt out trailer house that sits on the property next to my sisters house. That’s just not a safe environment to raise a child.

Recently the two parties came in contact with each other and a fight quickly ensued to who was the worst parent. A gets pissed off enough that she goes back to her tailor house and grabs a gun. She threatens to shoot S and proceeds to shoot the tires on her truck.

My family lives way out in the country, so there isn’t anyone else around her several miles, but the echoing sound of the gun firing bought everyone out of the house. My brother F sees what A is doing and runs after her, tackling her to the ground and begins fighting her for the weapon. Eventually he takes the gun away from her and they all go back inside. They should be thankful they live where they do, because if they were around here, someone would have went to jail.

That’s where my half-sister J comes back into the picture. J used to be in law enforcement, but couldn’t handle the ‘bullshit’, as she has said many times. The next day, she threatens to have A arrested, and says she knows people. C then jumps into the picture and tells, J she needs to mind her own business. To which S then tells C he needs to mind his own business. Fighting then starts between C and T. Everyone threatens to kill one another and bury the body out back where no one would find them. Things finally calm down when my two young nephews start crying.

Well, that’s the run down on my family until Christmas eve. I just hope someone doesn’t decide to go on a killing spree while I’m out there and make this year the worst Christmas ever.

Hope you have a wonderful Christmas! Stay Safe! Stay Warm!


Troy Holm said...

i really dig your blog. i just picked this one to comment you on. i'm new to the blogging scene. thought it was lame and/or didn't know much about it, but friends told me i needed to have one. now i'm really into it and i enjoy reading blogs like yours.

anyway, i'm at: , and i'd like to talk soon. i still don't know much about blogs, so i thought maybe you could help me out one day. thanks for your time.
(also, i'd like you to follow me too and get some critiquing on my stories if that's alright.)

- Troy Holm

MsPsycho said...

Hey! Thanks for stopping by. I'll stop by this weekend and check out your blog. Have a great day!