Friday, July 28, 2006

Torture

Friday, July 14, 2006

Every 15 minutes...

Every 15 minutes…
Someone takes their own life.
Someone feels like they can’t go on.
Someone feels like they can no longer control their actions.
Someone feels like they must gain control over the one thing that they can.

Then Every 15 minutes…
A heart will break.
A friend is gone forever.
A dream will never be realized.
A future will go blank.

Every 15 minutes…
Someone feels ignored.
Someone feels abandoned.
Someone feels completely helpless.
Someone will act on their thoughts.

Then Every 15 minutes…
A dream will die.
A deep void opens.
A mother will never again comfort the child who needed them.
A father will wonder why.

Every 15 minutes…
Someone is not able to seek the proper treatment.
Someone thinks everything seems so pointless.
Someone will break a promise.
Someone will succeed in taking their own life.

Then Every 15 minutes…
Someone will feel the pain of no touch, no voice, no love.
Someone will look across a table to a vacant chair.
Someone will lie awake at night, unable to sleep.
Someone will feel it’s somehow their fault.

Every 15 minutes…
Someone wants to run.
Someone wants to hide.
Someone wants to cry.
Someone wants to die.

Every 15 minutes…
Someone wants to hear your laughter.
Someone wants to wipe away your tears.
Someone wants you to know, you are not alone.
Someone does not want you to die.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

The girl with the broken smile.

Life is like a jigsaw puzzle…it’s handed to you at birth, and slowly as you age you put the pieces together. And just like any puzzle sometimes you lose piece and have to take out time to look for it then put it where it belongs.

Sometimes I feel like I’ve lost too many pieces.
I lost my first piece the day my daddy took my innocence’s away.
Being told I was a nobody, scattered pieces everywhere.
Tears washed a piece away the day a good friend died.
I lost several while I was busy using drugs.

Anger scatter even more when I realized how hard it was to try and move on with my life. A bargain with the Devil burnt a few pieces around the edge, and left a piece missing near my heart.

My puzzle is a big mess and I’m running out of time to find all the pieces and put it together. I’m afraid there are some pieces I may never recover no matter how hard I try.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Shocking and alarming Thoughts

Society turned me into a disease.
Sometimes I feel like I want to do the craziest of things.
You know, like killing something or someone just to watch it die.
Spit open its stomach and feel the hand warming sensation of ruby red blood as it slowly drains from your victims body.
Sometimes I hear voices and they tell me to do things.
Where darkness stands defiant to the break of day.
You spend a lifetime of walking...but where did you go?
I relive the past. I feel the past.
I have such vivid, painful memories, flashbacks, if you will.
I can almost feel 'their' hands painfully squeezing me.
I can even sometimes smell the stench around me.
Contemplating suicide.
You wish you were already dead as you hold the gun up to your head.
I want to take him and string him up by the hind
quarters like a deer being hung up and skinned.
I want him to be alive as I run the sharp knife blade down his stomach to his nut sack.
I just like to watch sometimes.
More weird shit…I’m hooked on watching violent pornography.
I’m not gay but I like watching a man get fucked hard in the ass.
I like watching the pain on his face.
Antisocial personality with intermittent psychotic decompensation.